Not lazy, just boring

I feel bad about not posting something everyday. It's not that I don't want to post, it's just that I don't really have anything exciting to say. Like last night, I went home from work and got in bed and seriously only got up to eat some cereal, let my dogs out, and use the restroom.

So, so sad. I should have been taking my fat-ass for a walk or something.

Oh well. The weekend is coming up so hopefully I will have a good story for you in the next couple of days.

Seriously delinquent baby update

Had another growth scan today. Baby A, who is to be named Benjamin Logan, is measuring a week ahead; he is weighing in at 1 lb. 7 oz. Tech said he is probably about 14 inches long. He was very active during the u/s, and was very proud to show off his "manhood"...numerous times. L's chest puffed up like a rooster the whole time after that.

Baby B - Nora Jane - is measuring right on track at 23w2d. She weighed about 1 lb. 5 oz. and tech guessed she was probably 13 inches long. So only a 7% size difference! They were 11% last time, so I am really glad to see that they are staying close.

Cervical length was about 3.53 cm. Is that right? Do they measure that in cm? All I know is that they look for the number to be over 2.5, which mine is. Thank God.

Everything looks great! We are moving right along. I will post u/s pics and a belly pic (OMG) later. Sorry to be such a slacker with the posting. I am going to try to pick it back up again.

BTW - they weren't mean to me today. :)

Tattletale

Someone from the "Patient Satisfaction" dept. at my MFM's office just called me back.

I told the lady what had happened at both appts. and she agreed (or at least pretended to agree) that waiting that long is ridiculous and that they should have some way to notify patients if they are running that late.

She said she would speak with the office manager about implementing some type of policy for when they are that far behind.

Now I feel kind of bad. I have an appt. tomorrow morning at 8 am. It is supposedly the first one of the day, so I don't see how they could be behind, but we'll see. I'm not holding my breath. I bet they are going to be really nasty to me now when I go there.

Hurry up and wait

I went in for my second growth scan at my new MFM office, since the old one is "feuding" with Humana and my bills were not being paid.

Last month, my appt. was at 8:40 and didn't leave the office until almost noon.

Today, my appt. was at 9:20. At 9:30, they called me up to register me and before I even sat down I asked how long the wait was. They told me it would be 40 minutes until I was called. Now, with 2 people ahead of me - meaning "in the waiting room" ahead of me, not "currently being seen" ahead of me - you can FRO with your 40 minutes. I'm sure it would have been twice that since, at my last appt., 20 minutes turned into over an hour.

Sorry, folks, I work, and so does MH. By the time I would have gotten back to be seen, he would have had to leave, and I would have missed another half-day of work.

Why even bother scheduling appointments if you aren't going to adhere to any kind of schedule? And if you are that far behind, fu.cking call people and say, "Hey, we are way behind. Hold of for about 30 minutes before coming in, or reschedule."

So I just left. Not sure what I'm going to do now. I really don't want to go back there, but I don't have much choice. I guess I will call back and reschedule for tomorrow morning.

Week 18

Baby's now the size of a sweet potato!
Baby's become amazingly mobile (compared to you, at least), passing the hours yawning, hiccupping, rolling, twisting, kicking, punching, sucking, and swallowing. And baby is finally big enough that you'll soon be able to feel her movements.

I'm not sure I can do this...

I might go stay with my mom for a few days. L decided that he was going to have a "sleepover" at a friend's new house. Sleepover, of course, means that he and all his friends are going to get super-drunk and stay up all night playing beer pong. Yes, L is 28 years old. No, he does not have a job. No, he hasn't paid a single bill in over 4 months. I totally understand that he needs time to de-stress and relax.

When he left tonight around 7, he said he would call me before bed. I assumed that he meant he would call me around my bedtime, which is 10:30 or so. No. 10:30 comes and goes - no call. So I called him. No answer. Paged him. No call back. Texted him. Nothing.

Now, maybe it's the hormones, but I am PG. With twins. If I call my fucking husband, he should call me back within a relatively short time. What if something was wrong? 2 hours and many texts later, he finally called me back. And was an asshole. "What do you want?" "You said you would call me." "It's not bedtime yet." Um, it's almost midnight. It is actually past my bedtime. "Oh, I didn't realize it was that late."

I mean that makes sense - I'm sure he was so busy playing beer pong he couldn't possibly check his phone for 2 hours. I said I guess if I have an emergency and have to go to the hospital, I should call my mom.

"Yep."

Hell fucking no. If I wasn't so tired right now, I would be gone. His friends and drinking are so important, he can just concentrate on them - he shouldn't have to worry about me distracting him from having fun.

Thanks a lot, Humana

I recently got my standard "A claim has been processed" email from Humana. I went to the website and was clicking through all of the recent claims. I got to the one for my NT scan, and it said I owed $120.

Now, before I even saw my OB - back when I was very newly PG - I called my insurance company to double-check my maternity coverage. I was told that my OB was in-network, and that, b/c I had met my max OOP, everything would be covered 100%. Which is amazing.

Well, my OB doesn't do Level II u/s's in his office. He writes a Rx, and sends me to a nearby MFM center. Apparently, the group of doctors who work for the MFM center are out-of-network. That means that I now have to meet my OOP deductible which is another $800. That would have been nice to know at the beginning. The woman I spoke to on the phone from Humana was actually very nice, and said she would submit my claim for review (which was quickly rejected, BTW). I guess I'll have to suck it up and pay the $240 - I've had another u/s at the MFM center since my NT scan.

But from now on, all of my u/s's will be at another local hospital, rather than right next door to my OB's office. Lovely.

Battle of Ohio

The Bengals played the Cleveland Browns today. Once again, the offense didn't realize the game had started until there were only 6 minutes left in the 4th quarter.

But, it all worked out in the end for another week. Nice scramble, Carson; Shane, thanks for coming through when it counted.

Brad St. Louis - you should be fired.

The Bengals are now 3-1 and tied for 1st place in the AFC North. Although, I'm beginning to think being a Bengals fan is hazardous; all that stress isn't good for anyone.

Who-dey!

Week 17

Baby's now the size of an onion!
Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. His umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes now feature one-of-a-kind prints.

Scare FAIL

I went to my first haunted house of the season tonight and...it was awful. I went with L and some friends to Junction Nightmare in West Chester, Ohio. I read the reviews of it online and they were all so, so good. I'm guessing that someone who works there posted all of them. It was ranked one of the best in the Greater Cincinnati area.

The first half of it was supposed to be old London circa Jack the Ripper. Seriously, it was ridiculous. The actors looked ridiculous, and they didn't even hide well. The second half was "Killer Klowns" or some shit. Again, everyone looked stupid rather than scary. The special effects were literally non-existent throughout the whole thing. We could have made it through the whole thing in about 10 minutes, if the actors hadn't been turning you in the wrong direction. There were a number of maze sections, and even when we knew where to go, people would block you. At one point, we all just stood in front of this little clown-girl waiting for her to let us by. I get she finally got fed up and let us through.

Hopefully the one next weekend will be better, b/c I really love haunted houses. I can't take another disappointment like that. Especially considering it took 30 minutes and $15 to get there.

I want my money back. :(

Baby names

Ever since I found out I was PG, I have had 2 names in mind - Noah Logan or Nora LeeAnne. Then when it was twins, for some reason I really thought it was 2 boys. So it became Noah Logan and Elijah John.

Fast forward to yesterday, and I'm having one of each. Naturally, I immediately thought to name them Noah and Nora. But, today on thebump.com, everyone was telling me the names sound too similar. Oh, they all loooove both names, but they sound way too much alike. Thanks, ladies, I also love them both. And unfortunately, these will likely be my only 2 children.

So, beloved readers - should I dismiss all the internet naysayers, and name them Noah and Nora as originally planned? Or should I change Noah to Eli? Even if you don't normally comment, I'd appreciate your input on this particular post.

OB appointment

I saw my OB yesterday after my u/s. It was one of the OB's in the practice that I'd never met - Dr. G. - and she was very nice. She said everything looks "perfect"; she pointed out on the report under "Abnormal" where it said "none." That is just such a wonderful feeling.

I asked her about the blood test for the quad screen, and she said the NT scan tells you at about 78% what your risk is for certain birth defects. Apparently, the blood test only adds an additional 2% to that, which was very surprising. Of course, I wouldn't terminate regardless so I opted not to do it. Then I asked her when I would start cervical length checks. She was like, "Didn't they do that today?" Um, no, or I wouldn't have asked. I actually asked the u/s tech if she would do one, and she said they don't do them unless the doctor specifically orders it. Dr. G. said that was crap, and the lady should have known better. Well, fuck. I'm glad I asked, b/c Dr. G. scheduled me for one at my next OB appt. in 2 weeks.

I also asked about my weight gain; I was up another pound from the my appt. 1.5 weeks before. She said it's fine, that I looked good (!), and not to worry about it. Okay, I won't worry about it...until the next time I have to get on the scale. :) She also said that my fundal height is the size of someone 21 weeks with a singleton. Wow, and I don't even really feel like I look PG. I guess my belly really is getting bigger.

Finally, Dr. G. told me that they really don't like women to carry twins past 38 weeks. Normally, that wouldn't be an issue, but she said that since I'm so tall, and because I have "the perfect build to carry twins" ::swoon::, there is a chance I might end up being induced. I didn't mention to her that I'd really like to have these twins naturally. We can save that talk until later. Honestly, I couldn't believe I was even discussing delivering my twins. Surreal.

All in all, a very good appointment. My favorite kind.

Surprise

Utterly Disappointed

I was so excited about my u/s today b/c I was hoping to find out the sexes (which I did). L and I have known about this appt. for 2 weeks. Well, I got home from school at 9:30 last night to find L and his 2 friends drinking at my house. He tells me they're going to go out to a bar.

I asked him not to go b/c of the u/s (ha!) and then asked him to at least come home early - like no later than 12:30. i usually don't care, but my u/s was early as hell today and he is extremely loud when he comes in; he always wakes me up.

12:40 - Not home. Called him & he said he was in a beer pong tournament and couldn't leave. I told him he'd better forfeit if he knows what's good for him.

1:10 - L got home, ate an entire family-size bag of Doritos in my ear and proceeded to throw everything off of the couch and onto the floor b/c his friends were going to come back to our house and pass out when they left the bar at 3 am.

1:50 - 2:30 - Woke up to L gagging and then throwing up on the floor next to the bed. He said he would clean it up in the morning, i made him get up and do it immediately.

This morning, L went into the bathroom and threw up again and said he couldn't go the the u/s b/c he was too sick. I told him fine, I would call him and tell him what the sexes are. Then he decided he could go. When we got to the hospital, he threw up in the waiting room, and then while we were in the u/s room, he actually left the room to go throw up again. The time that he wasn't throwing up, he was sitting in the room with his head in his hands. I'm actually not sure if he looked up at the screen once.

And, here we are - I am at work crying (which may be b/c of the hormones, or it could be the only 4 hours of sleep I got), and wondering if L actually realizes how bad he fucked up this time. I thought finding out the sex of the children I've wanted so badly, for so long, that I fought so hard for, would be one of the best, most exciting moments of my life...

Somehow he managed to ruin it, and I don't think he will ever be able to make it up to me.

Who Dey!

"Hear that Bengal growling - mean and an-ga-ree..."

I love the Cincinnati Bengals. From the bottom of my heart I do. Even though they break my heart year after year, I love them. I absolutely loathe Mike Brown, but I digress.

Yesterday, my Bengals (yes, the are, in fact, my Bengals - I own them. Maybe you didn't know that) beat the Steelers. They capped off a poor first half, and a so-so game overall, with one of the best drives I've ever watched them execute (minus spiking the ball on first down with :42 seconds left on the clock). 2 4th-down conversions and a last-minute touchdown. It was wonderful to watch. And kudos, Marvin, for growing some balls and going for it with that punt fake. Sure, it didn't work out, but you tried; with your history here, that's what counts.

Sure, the Bengals played less than "great" football. Regardless, thank you, Bengals, for that final drive on Sunday. The fact that it resulted in you beating the Steelers made it even sweeter.

Week 16

Baby's now the size of an avocado!
Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

Not much happening this week. I'm still feeling tired - really tired. I also seem to get hungrier every day; the 2-lunch-per-day streak continues. As a result of my increased appetite, my belly is getting bigger. Unfortunately, I can't tell if I look PG or just fat at this point. I will post a pic in a few days and you all can decide that for yourself.

Next u/s is this Wednesday. I will be almost 17 weeks, so everything should be sufficiently formed that the tech can tell the sexes. ::fingers crossed:: However, the babies haven't been very cooperative so far (i.e. the hour-long NT scan), so I'm not holding my breath. If they don't give us "the shot", though, next chance to find out is not until the end of October, which seems like forever away.

In non-baby news, school sucks. Not much else to talk about - my life is unbelievably boring.

Guess what I made yesterday?

:)

P.S.

I need some homemade Rice Krispie treats.

That is all.

15 weeks

Baby's now the size of a naval orange!
Continuing the march toward normal proportions, baby's legs now out-measure his arms. And, finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus is squirming and wiggling like crazy down in the womb, though you probably can't feel the movements just yet.

I had another OB appointment today. Everything went fine, except that I was up 3 pounds. Yikes. But I'm still 6 pounds under my pre-IVF weight, which is good for 15 weeks I guess. Both h/bs sounded perfect; OB said my uterus is measuring more like 17 weeks, which is apparently normal for twins.

And now I think I must accept the fact that I need maternity jeans. I am having the same woman who altered my wedding dress turn a couple of my jeans into maternity ones. I guess the jean makers don't expect women over 6' to get PG. i mean, how could a sasquatch find someone to procreate with her anyway? well, this one did - and i neglected to take into account the difficulty I would have covering up my expanding body. I will have to update you on how the jean modification went once I get them back. Still not sure how I'm going to handle the dress pants situation. It's starting to look like a lot of dresses at work this winter. :(

Oktoberfest #2

Fall is without a doubt my favorite time of year. 1) I'm a fat ass, so I'd rather much rather wear big sweatshirts and jeans than be sweating to death in a tank top. 2) Festivals galore, which means food galore. L and I went to another Oktoberfest this weekend; this one was in Covington, KY.

This time, I got a kielbasa w/ peppers and onions, in addition to the old standby, a pretzel with cheese. I also got a funnel cake, and OMG, it was awesome. I swear on all that is holy, I will never again buy a funnel cake from anywhere but a carnival cart. They just always get it perfect, every time. My coworker C says it's b/c they never change out their grease. Well, if that's so, God bless 'em and I hope they never do change it out.

L thought he was going to go out with his friends afterward, but unfortunately I had to let him know he was mistaken, and he ended up staying home with me. The funniest part was that, on the way home, he was saying how he doesn't mind staying home but I always fall asleep so early and then he is bored all night. Well, we got home at 9:30, and he was knocked out by 10 pm. I, on the other hand, was up until midnight. :)

Reason 1,001 why I hate Kanye West

Kanye West is an asshole who must be the center of attention at all times or else he throws a hissy fit.

For example, from wwtdd.com:
The first winner of the night, Taylor Swift for Best Female Video, was rudely and quickly interrupted by Kanye West, who cut off her acceptance speech. He stole the microphone to announce that fellow nominee Beyonce had "one of the greatest videos of all time," in "Single Ladies." "I was standing on stage and I was really excited b/c I'd just won an award and then I was really excited b/c Kanye West was on stage," Swift recalled after the show. "And then I wasn't excited anymore after that.

Please keep in mind when reading this that Taylor Swift is a 19-year-old girl, and Kanye is a 32-year-old man.

PerezHilton.com has a clip of it up on his site. He has also posted Kanye's half-assed apology to Taylor and Taylor's mother.

However, Beyonce, who I really wasn't very fond of before, now has a special place in my heart. When she won an award later in the show, she called Taylor Swift back up onto the stage and allowed her to finish her acceptance speech. Bravo - very classy.

1st baby purchase

You might remember that a while back my dad gave me a $200 Babies-R-Us gift card. Well, on Friday I got a bunch of coupons in my email. 10% off all strollers, car seats, cribs, etc. I decided this weekend was as good a time as any to go spend the GC. I was going to get the stroller, but L and I can't agree on whether we want a side-by-side or a tandem. I am leaning heavily towards the Graco Duoglider, but we'll see.

I made L go with me, b/c he had never been in a BRU before. Let's just say he was a little surprised by how expensive everything was. I knew what car seats I wanted before I even got there. We ended up getting the Graco SnugRide 32 in Lemon Grass. Pretty expensive as far as regular infant car seats go, but it seemed like one of the most comfortable - plus it holds kids up to 32 pounds rather than just 22, so it should get us past at least the first year...hopefully. Plus, MoM, I'm sure you are aware, but BRU gives you a 10% discount on each item if you buy more than 1 of the same thing. So, in all, we saved about $60, meaning we only paid about $60 OOP.

I have to say, that it definitely makes it feel more real; everytime I walk past those strollers stacked in the corner. I'm going to be a mom of 2 in, like, 5 months. Terrifying, yet super-exciting at the same time.

Lay off me - I'm starving!

Apparently my weight loss days are over - I am now at a point where if I don't eat every 2 hours or so, I get reeaallly nauseous. I am going to have to stock up on healthy snacks or these babies are going to turn me into a whale by the 3rd tri.

13 weeks

Babies are now the size of a peach!
Your fetus is now forming teeth and vocal cords...savor this, their nonfunctional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with his head now only one-third the size of his body. And intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy -- much more convenient.

Labor Day weekend

Good things all around. My boss let our whole department leave 2 hours early from work, which gave me time to get a haircut. Yay! Got it all chopped off and it feels so good. Last night L and I went to a bonfire out in the sticks for a sorority sister's birthday. I haven't seen her in forever, so it was really nice to do so; plus, she lives with one of my absolute best friends from college. I just love both of them. It was a good time, even though I didn't get to drink any beer. :)

Today, I have to clean house and go look for carpet. L is working on finishing up painting our bedroom. Which hopefully means that the nursery won't be far behind in being done. My friend K is having people over for a grill out at her house, which I also can't wait for! I am making buffalo chicken dip, and my dip is sooo good. Of course, I'm sure everyone thinks that about the food they make. Hopefully I will be able to stay out w/o getting super-tired tonight. Let's get some cooperation, babies!

Then, tomorrow, L and I are having people over for our 2nd annual fireworks party. In Cincinnati, a local radio station puts on a huge fireworks show on the Ohio river. Our house is only 5 or 6 blocks from the river, so we have people over all day and then walk down to the fireworks. Last year we had a barbecue - the plan was for people to either bring a side or bring money. Shockingly, a lot of the people "forgot their cash" and we ended up spending a lot of money. We won't make that mistake again. We're just doing pizza this year. Is that lazy? lol. Regardless, I am really excited. Cornhole, friends, and fireworks. It's going to be a great end to a great weekend.

Finally, the one perk of working for a bank - we get all national holidays off, which includes Labor Day. I could probably get a lot done with this extra day off, however I am predicting that nothing will get done. Honestly, it will be a miracle if I get out of bed and get a shower. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I'm sure I will need to catch up after such a busy weekend.

Anyway, hope everyone has as good a holiday weekend as I plan on having. :)

NT scan

Yesterday I had my NT scan. Not sure what that is? Allow babycenter.com to help:

The nuchal translucency screening (also called the NT or nuchal fold scan) can help your healthcare practitioner assess your baby's risk of having Down syndrome (DS) and other chromosomal abnormalities as well as major congenital heart problems.

The NT test uses ultrasound to measure the clear (translucent) space in the tissue at the back of your developing baby's neck. Babies with abnormalities tend to accumulate more fluid at the back of their neck during the first trimester, causing this clear space to be larger than average.

The u/s tech looks for the clear space to be less than 3mm. For the first 25 minutes, the tech couldn't get the babies to cooperate. Apparently they have to be in a perfect position or she can't do the measurement. She said it's not uncommon for people to have to come in 2 and 3 times. (!) Sorry, lady, I don't have any more time off work. Although it was awesome to just sit there and watch them flip around. L was like, "Can you feel them moving around like that?" LOL, they are less than 3 inches long. Unfortunately, no, I can't feel them...yet.

She measured both babies - 1 was still measuring 3 days behind, but she said he looked kind of scrunched, so that number could be off. The tech also changed my EDD to 3/11/09, even though I'm sure I won't make it that long; that means I'll be 13 weeks tomorrow. Yay! So close to the 2nd tri! Both h/bs were great. 1 was 167 and the other was 171.

The tech made me empty my bladder in a last ditch attempt to get the babies to cooperate. Then she made me cough a few times. Then she poked and prodded my belly with the transducer. But at the last minute she got measurements on both of them. Baby A was 1.77 and B was 1.56, which puts both of them well under 3mm.

We are so blessed.

12 weeks

Baby's now the size of a plum!
As you move into the second trimester, babies shift into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of their systems are fully formed.


I always run late on posting these - I'll try to do better from now on. And even now that I know that the 2nd tri doesn't "officially" start until I finish week 13, I still feel so much better about this PG. Plus, I'm really ready to not feel so damn tired all the time.

Speaking of being tired... ::yawn:: maybe I'll take a nap before the festival...

That's not too bad

On the tail of my D+ in Crim Pro, I got the grade for my other summer class today.

A-. Seriously! My first ever "A" in law school. I still think it is a mistake, but I'm not about to point it out to anyone. Is that an honor code violation? ;)

Tonight I am going to Germania's Oktoberfest - the first one of the season. So it goes w/o saying that I will be eating like a fat ass tonight. Pretzel w/ cheese, maybe a schnitzel sandwich, and of course a funnel cake. Ahh, I love fall.

Ugh...school, etc.

I haven't been posting nearly as often as I think I should, but then again maybe I just have a really boring life and nothing to say.

To recap the last week or so, I got my grade for one of my summer classes. Yikes. I'm lucky they are letting me stay in school, let's just put it that way. However, missing like 2 weeks of class due to the OHSS fiasco right before exams didn't help. Oh well, at least I don't have to repeat it. It is sad how low my expectations have become the further I get into law school. Good for all of those people at the top of the class - that will never be me.

I also found out that one of my friends, who was diagnosed with PCOS earlier this summer, found out her husband also has morphology issues. After hearing the results, I don't believe they are as bad as they look on paper, but it is never pleasant to find out something like that. So ((hugs)) to her. I hope the first couple rounds of Clomid do the trick for her.

Last night, after not having messed with the doppler for awhile, I dug it out of the drawer. And I found both h/bs w/in 10 minutes! They were so very nice to hear...I could listen to them all day long. Not that I needed any reassurance that I'm PG, b/c I am like a bottomless pit lately. The amount of food that I have been eating is ridiculous. And the crazy part is I never feel full. Furthermore, I ate a turkey club on an asiago parmesan bagel yesterday, and it was delicious. Yes, I ate cold lunchmeat and it was probably one of the best-tasting things I have eaten in a long time. Well, until the shells and cheese I ate for dinner last night. :)

11 weeks

Baby's now the size of a lime!
Your fetuses currently enjoy a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and have skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through it. But fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds, and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

First OB appointment

I had my first OB appointment today. I didn't see my regular OB, but another from the practice who I had never met before. He did a pap, since my last one was in May, 2009 and then we listened to both heartbeats on the doppler! IDK why, but that just seems like such a big milestone for me. No u/s, which was disappointing, but hearing the h/bs is good enough for me at this point. Also, my OB didn't mention doing an NT scan. I know most people get it done b/w 10 and 12 weeks. He just told me to come back in 2 weeks, so I go back 9/4. I'm not really that worried about the scan (b/c I'm keeping both babies no matter what the tests say), but I still might call tomorrow. OB also suggested that a low-lying placenta is the cause of my spotting. I'll take it - at least it is some sort of explanation.

You may have also noticed that the due date on my ticker keeps changing. I was going by the EDD on the u/s, but I have decided to stick with the date going from my ER. That puts me into my 12th week, and that makes me feel better; closer to being out of the 1st tri.

Goodbye and Hello

My last appointment with my RE was Sunday...remember, when I passed the clot and had an emergency u/s? It was kind of a sad way to end it. No one was in the office except me and Dr. T, and I think he was in a bit of a hurry to leave - not that I can blame him b/c it was noon on a Sunday. Remember? I brought in a thank you card and a box of chocolates a couple of weeks before. One nurse told me later that everyone loved the candy. (Surprise, I already knew they would. I worked in a hospital. People who work in hospitals for some reason love candy more than the average person; at least it always seemed that way.) L of course made fun of me for doing it, but I thought it was appropriate. I really did like everyone there. It will be wierd not going in at least once a week.

Last night, I met a friend from thebump.com IRL! It was pretty cool. I had been talking to her for awhile on the message boards, and when I mentioned getting a doppler, she generously offered to let me borrow hers! She is pretty far along with identical twins - speaking of which I hope they are growing up a storm and that you feel better soon! I tried to hear my babies with the doppler when I got home, but I really had no idea where to start looking so it's not surprising I couldn't find either one.

Today, I have my first appt. with my OB, Dr. S. I have been seeing him for awhile, and he is really nice. I have a nice list of questions written out to ask him. "Does he have a lot of experience with multiples? Do I need to see a peri also? Will he support my desire for a vaginal birth with twins? Is he willing to do a breech extraction should it come to that?" I'm sure doctors hate people like me. I'm pretty excited to go, though. I think he will probably do a regular abdominal u/s - I think I will really feel PG then. Up till now it has been my old friend, the dildo-cam.

Frustrating update: I hadn't spotted since early Sunday morning. Then I go to use the restroom this afternoon and, lo and behold, it's my old friend, Spot. WTF? Just go away and leave me alone, creepy. At this point, I can't even freak out anymore. I just sigh...and then go check every 30 minutes to see if I'm still spotting. Seriously.

10 weeks

Baby's now the size of a prune!
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, the babies are making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will start working too.)

Another u/s this morning

I woke up and passed a nickel-sized clot. Thank God the RE was able to get me in. Here is what we found.

Everything was perfect.

RE still couldn't tell me where the blood was coming from, but he did restart my PIO for at least another week. Yay.

On a brighter note, L and I saw both babies dancing around. It was amazing; we are so, so blessed.

Even more spotting

WTF? Are these babies just messing with me? I get up this morning and go to the restroom, and there is the lightest of light spotting when I wipe. Wipe again, even lighter.

Get to work, lighter still. But there. Believe me, I held pee-soaked TP right up to my face.

I have officially lost it. Guess I have to call the docs again to make another note on my chart.

::sigh::

How will I ever make it until next Thursday for another u/s? Anyone know where you can rent a fetal doppler around Cincinnati, OH?

More spotting

I started spotting again around 5 pm yesterday evening. Same type of blood as before. It stopped by this morning; since it stopped I'm trying not to worry. I called the RE and my OB just to let them know. RE nurse said everything sounds fine and to just take it easy, which I plan on doing.

Gah! I hate my cervix.

No more spotting

It stopped yesterday afternoon.

:)

Freak out

Yesterday, I awoke to bloody underwear at 7 am. Red blood. I went to the bathroom and there was more when I wiped. Went back to bed for an hour. When I got up the second time, more blood in the underwear and more when I wiped. I tried not to freak out - got a shower, then went back in the bathroom. This time, when I wiped, there were long, stringy clots on the TP.

I immediately freaked out. I called my OB; apparently they weren't open b/c an answering service paged the doc for me. He called back quickly, and didn't seem too concerned. He told me to call the office back at 8:30 when they open and schedule an u/s "just to make sure everything's okay."
I called them right at 8:30, and the soonest appt. they had was 1 pm.

Then I called my mom. Then I got into a fight with L b/c I am "too negative. It's probably nothing - I stress out too much." On the way to work, I called my friend K, a nurse. Not even an OB nurse, so I don't know why I always call her about this stuff. She said, "1 pm is unacceptable. Call your RE and see if they can get you in sooner. If not, I will meet you at the ER." Ahh, that's why I call her. She always knows just what to say.

I called the RE and, thankfully, a nurse answered the phone. I told her what was going on, she got off the phone for a minute, then returned and told me to come in right away. Idk why, but the RE telling me to come in right away freaked me out even more. I walked into work, told my boss I had to go to the doctor, started crying while I telling him (awesome), and then walked right back out. On the way to the RE - still crying by the way - I called L to tell him to meet me at the RE, I called Kelly to tell her I got in, and called my mom just b/c I wanted my mommy. My mom started crying immediately.

When I got to the office, they brought me back right away, and got right down to business. Both babies looked perfect; measuring perfectly and h/bs were 176 and 185. Baby B was even dancing around and moving his little arms and legs. I asked Dr. T about the spotting and the clots and he said he didn't have an explanation for me. No active bleeding in the cervix, and none in the uterus that he could see. He also said to get ready, b/c these babies are going to be driving me crazy for at least the next 50 years, and I don't doubt that for a minute.

My Pregnancy: Week 9

Baby's now the size of a green olive!
My little embryos have now officially graduated to fetus-hood. Adding to the excitement, a Doppler ultrasound device might be able to pick up the beating hearts. With basic physical structures in place and increasingly distinct facial features, babies are kind of starting to look like...well...babies!

Evansville, IN

I was out of town for work all last week - left early Tuesday afternoon and got back Friday evening around 7 p.m. The highlight of the trip? There were a few. 1 was the shower in the hotel; it was one of those rainfall showerhead plus there were all kinds of heads built into the wall. It was heavenly. The bed was also amazing, as was having a king-sized bed and 4 huge pillows all to myself.

The other highlight? Eating Chick-fil-A for lunch. Serio. I haven't eaten it since I graduated from undergrad in 2005, and it was just as awesome as I remember. The downside of the trip? Having to actually work for 3 whole days and not being able to get on the internet. :( You shouldn't have to work so much at work. I should tell my boss that.

The nights were boring b/c the only thing to do in the town was go to the casino. Not only did I not have any money to gamble, but 2 of the younger guys who went the first night said they had to take 2 showers when they got home b/c of how thick the cigarette smoke was. Probably not the best environment for a PG lady. Anyway, I think the trip overall was a good opportunity so I'm glad I went.

2nd PG u/s

I had my 2nd u/s today with Dr. T, and I'm so glad I did. It was such hell getting in - I guess I finally annoyed the nurses enough that Dr. T decided to make a "very special exception" and double-book me this morning. My appointment was scheduled for 9, but L and I waited an hour to get back to see the doc. I brought a big box of chocolate and a card for the entire office - they really are great.

When we finally get the u/s, both babies looked great! Thank God! Baby A was a little hard to see since he is behind Baby B and further away from the probe; Dr. T said that might be why he "appears" to be a little smaller. He was only measuring 8w0d rather than 8w2d, but his heart rate was good at 173, up from 102 2 weeks ago. Baby B was much easier to see and was measuring 8w2d with a h/b of 183. Due date is the same as what they gave me last time: March 14th. So while the babies are measuring 3 days behind where I thought they would be based on the date of my ER, their growth was perfect from what they were at my last u/s. Dr. T seemed happy, I am ecstatic and I am officially released from my RE.

I see my regular Ob 8/20. I can't wait!

And I really can't wait to quit this PIO. There isn't a not-sore spot on my whole ass. 2 more weeks to go.

Google Obsession and Scheduling Conflicts

I have to admit that I am terrified. My only symptoms up until last weekend were exhaustion and extremely sore bbs. Then, all of a sudden, in the past week - I'm tired, but not as tired as I was. My bb soreness has slowly been decreasing, and now is gone altogether. I feel like i have some food aversions, but I can't really tell. Idk how I am supposed to be feeling. Everyone tells me that I should feel lucky not to have any symptoms; just enjoy it while it lasts.

Yeah, thanks anyway, but I'd like at least some symptoms. I never thought I'd be wishing to throw up, but bring on the m/s. So, again, I have been googling every bad outcome out there. "Vanishing twin", "missed miscarriage", "pronounced loss of symptoms", "abnormal gestational sac."

I'm sick. Seriously, I need help. Someone stop me.

Then, I found out yesterday that I am going out of town for my first-ever work trip. Nowhere cool - Evansville, Indiana. I leave Tuesday around 4 and come back Friday night at 10 p.m. Now, you may remember that my next u/s is scheduled for this Thursday. I accepted the opportunity for the work trip thinking I could get in for my u/s earlier. I called my RE, and no go. "Sorry, we're completely booked up Monday and Tuesday." "Okay, what about Friday afternoon?" (This was when I thought I would be back by Friday afternoon.) "Well, the RE really doesn't like to do PG u/s's on Friday afternoons."

Excuse me? He "doesn't like to?" I don't like to work on Friday afternoons either, but my boss and customers aren't too receptive to that. I understand that 2 of the 3 doctors left the practice suddenly, leaving only Dr. T to do all the procedures, all the monitoring - everything. But if that is the case, he should be willing to do PG u/s's whenever he can. I paid him a lot of money. That is bullshit; I'm sorry.

Then, I called my OB, hoping that I could get in there early, since my first u/s with him is scheduled for 8/20. The nurse at the OB's office was very nice and helpful, but regretfully informed me that b/c Dr. T had not "released me to their care", they couldn't treat me at all. But she did offer me a possible solution. She told me to call the RE's office first thing Monday morning and ask him to write me a script to get a u/s at an outpatient center. I actually called immediately after I hung with her and left a message. Hopefully they agree to do that - if they are that understaffed, Dr. T should be willing to sub out some of his duties.

We'll see what happens.

Seeing double

The moment of truth. My first u/s. L came with me, which was nice. Dr. T wanded over my ovaries, which are still full of big follicles, and said, "Oh, thank God, those are your ovaries. I thought there were like 20 sacs in there." Ha ha. Very funny. Then he quicky went over my uterus and I saw 2 dark spots. Then Dr. T said, "Ah, but there are 2 sacs in here." He focused on the one to the left and typed "Baby A" on the screen. He zoomed in and there it was - a tiny pea with a flickering h/b. 102 bpm. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Then he moved over to "Baby B." Definitely more photogenic than Baby A - the little bean was right in the middle of a perfectly round sac - little heart pumping away at 120 bpm. Both babies measured 6w1d. OMG. This is really happening. I feel so blessed and so excited about these precious gifts!

Next u/s is scheduled for 8/6. I have no idea how I am going to make it until then.

CNL (Crazy Neighbor Lady)

4 times a week, I go straight from work to school and get out at 9:30. Today was no different, only this time I stopped and picked up dinner, so I was finally getting home around 10:15. I pulled up to my house to see my dog, Cash (a 70-pound boxer) standing on the sidewalk, and some lady screaming and throwing rocks at him. Cash was just standing there tilting his head from side to side, and CNL was hysterically screaming and throwing rocks - she probably scared him half to death.

I called him over to me and put him back in the yard, and then CNL started screaming at me. I spent 20 minutes convincing the woman not to call the cops. People assume that he is a vicious dog and are terrified just b/c he is big. God, he'll lick you to death before anything else.

Then, as she was leaving - finally calm - he jumped the fence and chased her cat down the street.

::sigh::

MH was inside playing Call of Duty on Xbox by the way and left the back door open, even though he knows our dog can jump the fence at will. The best part is that he didn't come out once to investigate the screaming. He "didn't hear it." Thanks, hubs. MH doesn't seem to understand that they will take our dog away, whether he is violent or not. Cash can't just roam the neighborhood freely. MH is about to be grounded from the Xbox.

Beta hell

My 3rd and last beta came in at 193 at 16dp3dt, so it pretty much doubled in 48 hours. RE was happy enough with that not to draw a 4th. Of course, when hearing everyone else's betas, I was convinced that this PG wasn't viable. My betas were way too low. And then to have to wait 2 whole weeks for an u/s? Ridiculous. Obviously, I asked a million questions on thebump.com and googled "low beta success stories" 100 times.

PSA: Google is evil.

Not again...

My weight shot back up and my girth increased, so I called the RE. They told me to go ahead and come in that day. They said there was definitely a re-accumulation of fluid, and there was a chance they'd have to drain it again, but they'd like to avoid that if they could (yeah, me too!). They also drew a 2nd beta. It came back at 100. Doubling time? 72 hours. The outer-outskirts of normal. Great. This thing is over before it started.

Monday, I went back to work (against Dr. T's orders). Around 11 a.m., I went into the bathroom and thought that my incision was bleeding everywhere b/c my shirt was soaked. Luckily, it was black so no one noticed. But thankfully, it wasn't blood, it was my old friend the straw-colored fluid - the same stuff they just drained 4 days before. I called the RE, and again they had me come in. They ended up stitching the incision closed and this time ordered (didn't advise) me to stay home and off my feet until at least Wednesday. So I went straight home and happily went to bed. Are we noticing a pattern here? I love sleep. :) However, I did go to school, b/c I didn't have any absences left. :( That was awful, then again it always is.

Then, Tuesday, I was back to the RE again. I think they were really getting sick of me. This time it was for my 3rd beta. Again, I was in bed all day until I had to get up for school. RE called at 5 p.m. to tell me that there was a mix-up with the lab and they didn't run my beta. !! The nurse said that they should have it in an hour and they would call as soon as they got it. Finally, right before I was about to go to class they called. 193! So it doubled in 48 hours; Dr. W seemed pleased, and told me to call the next day and schedule an u/s for 2 weeks out. Whew! Still PG. For now.

Busting out

I finally got out of the hospital on Friday, July 3rd. When I woke up, they drew more blood and weighed me and I was down 10 pounds from when I was admitted. That is a lot of fluid! Then, I ate the same breakfast as the day before, and it came back up within 20 minutes. I don't know if it was the PG hormones, or the morphine, but it was awful. I got to get a shower for the first time in 3 days, which felt wonderful, and then L picked me up and took me home. Dr. T gave me a note and told me to rest and not go back to work until the following Wednesday. I slept most of the day I went home, too. I know, my life is so exciting.

On the 4th I did some cleaning and L and I went over to a friend's house. They were grilling out and there were a lot of friends there that we hadn't seen for awhile, so it was fun. I was popping Percocet and anti-nausea meds the whole time, but it was honestly nice to be out doing something. Plus, there was pasta salad, which I had been craving constantly, and still am.

5.2 liters

My first night in the hospital was the best night's sleep I'd had in over a week. That morphine is a gift from God. :) I woke up at 6 a.m. to 2 very nice nurses coming to draw some blood. The saline drip overnight must have done something because they got 2 tubes out of my right arm relatively easy. My friend, K, works at the hospital where I was admitted, so she came and sat with me for an hour in the morning while I ate breakfast, which wasn't bad by the way. Another one of my REs, Dr. W, came around 7:30 a.m. with the results of my beta. 51 @ 11dp3dt. Perfect. Damn weak hospital urine PG test - making me worry all night. I immediately called L and told him, since the negative the night before really upset him.

Dr. W and Dr. T came back around 9 to do a procedure called "paracentesis," where they drain the fluid from my abdomen. L and K were both there, as well as 3 doctors, so it was interesting to have a room full of people in the room while this was being done. They gave me 2 shots of Lidocaine to numb my upper right abdomen. Then Dr. W made an incision - all the way through my muscle - and inserted the tube. Then she hooked the tube up to a 1-liter vacuum container. The first container was quickly filled. She just kept switching out containers; the whole process took about 20-30 minutes. After it was all said and done, they had drained 5.2 liters, which was a new hospital record! I felt so proud. :)

I don't really remember what I did the rest of the day after that. I had a couple of visitors, and L and my mom both came over for awhile. I slept A LOT. And I felt so good.

I hate you, OHSS (cont'd.)

Where was I...

Okay, so yesterday, K drove me to the hospital, and L followed us. As we're registering in the ER, I had to run to the bathroom and actually vomited for the first time. Red Gatorade. Yum. I only had to wait 20 minutes or so; my admission Dx was "abdominal pain." Yeah, to say the least. They took me back and had me pee in a cup first thing.

My mom showed up as they were trying to start the IV. I have bad veins as it is - I have 1 good one inside my elbows on each arm. Thanks to the OHSS, which causes the fluid in my veins and blood vessels to seep into my abdomen, I had no veins. I suggested they try inside my left elbow first, so they did. No go. So then they tried the other arm. Nope. How about the left hand? Uh uh. After 3 failed tries, they finally called IV services. They got the IV in my left forearm first try. However, when the hooked up the saline drip, the IV infiltrated, so all the saline just started pooling up in my arm. Not pleasant. So they took that out. Brought IV services back. They tried in my right hand, then my right wrist. Finally, they ended up putting in my left foot. Yes, in my foot. Awesome.

At that point, I was crying. All I wanted was a damn drink of water and they wouldn't give me one. Then, to make things even better, someone mentioned to my mom that my urine PG test was negative. Really? FML. Then the ER doc finally came in and said, "Oh, let's see if we can figure out what's wrong with you." Really, fucker? I already told you what's wrong. I have severe OHSS. Apparently OHSS is very specialized, and people outside the RE field aren't familiar. I just kept telling him, "Call my RE, call my RE." And what do you know? When they got ahold of Dr. T, he told them to admit me, put me on pain meds and anti-nausea meds and they'd see me first thing in the morning. I love you, Dr. T.

I hate you, OHSS

Work at this point had become pretty much unbearable. I actually ended up calling in sick again today b/c the pain after sitting down for any considerable amount of time was just unbearable. I hadn't been able to button my pants for over a week. I was using the rubber-band trick with jeans, but that doesn't work so well with tab-waisted dress pants. Ugh. Keep in mind that, in addition to work, I had class from 6:30pm to 9:15pm 4 nights/week. Despite leaving early and calling off of work, I had still been attending class b/c you can only miss 3 classes. Anymore and you automatically fail. But when I got home from work on Wednesday, getting to class was pretty much an impossibility.

My friend K, who is a nurse, came over in the morning. Always brutally honest, she told me I looked like shit. Thanks, K. :) I pretty much laid in bed all day, b/c laying flat on my back was the most comfortable position. I had been taking Vicodin for pain, but it made me nauseous. So then I would take Phenergan, which was some help.

By 5:30, when it was time to get up and go to school, the pain had become pretty severe. Having an extended conversation was hard b/c of the SOB. The nausea made it almost impossible to eat. I called my mom and she didn't answer. I sent L out for some Gatorade, and then called K. I told her what was going on and she immediately headed over to my house, even though I told her not to. Thanks again, K. :) I also paged my RE, who told me to take an extra Vicodin and keep drinking the Gatorade and she would see me for my appointment in the morning.

When L came home I was writhing around on the bed, trying not to let him see that I had been crying. I didn't want him to worry, but of course he immediately freaked out. K came over and said, "We're going to the ER." I told her my RE said to wait, and she said, "Well, she isn't looking at you, I am." And so we went to the ER.

+ on FRER

Taken 9dp3dt. Followed by another + 10dp3dt. Thanks, First Response! This is the first + I've ever seen. Beta set for Thursday, July 2, 2009.

It's back

6/29/2009
So, as much as I thought I felt better this past weekend, I was wrong. The bloating was back with a vengeance, my waist was up 5 inches and my weight up about 10 pounds. I called the RE again; they were probably getting sick of me at that point, but they told me to come in on Tuesday, to keep measuring my waist and my urine output.

6/30/2009
I went in to the RE first thing in the morning. They prescribed me some Vicodin for pain, drew some more blood, and did a u/s. My ovaries were about the size of grapefruits (!). RE said he didn't want to get my hopes up, but b/c I felt better and then felt worse again, this OHSS could me a sign of PG. Too late, you already got my hopes up. Anyway, they told me if the shortness of breath or pain got unbearable to call them. I ended up going home after my appointment - per my RE's orders. :)

Intro to OHSS

6/23/2009
A couple of days after my ET, my waist girth had gone up 3 inches, my weight had gone up about 5 pounds and I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I went in to the RE, they said I definitely had some fluid (they called it "moderate" OHSS), and to start drinking Gatorade and avoiding salty foods. They drew some blood and gave me a "hat" to pee in. That was really fun - taking that to work and in and out of the bathroom. I had to record my urine output and call the RE if it dropped below 33mL an hour.

I guess I shouldn't assume everyone knows what OHSS is. Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) is a complication from some forms of fertility medication. Symptoms are set into 3 categories: mild, moderate, and severe and some others. Mild symptoms include abdominal bloating and feeling of fullness, nausea, diarrhea, and slight weight gain. Moderate symptoms include excessive weight gain (weight gain of greater than 2 pounds per day), increased abdominal girth, vomiting, diarrhea, darker urine and less in amount, excessive thirst, and skin and/or hair feeling dry (in addition to mild symptoms). Severe symptoms are fullness/bloating above the waist, shortness of breath, urination significantly darker or has ceased, calf and chest pains, marked abdominal bloating or distention, and lower abdominal pains (in addition to mild and moderate symptoms).

In mild forms of OHSS the ovaries are enlarged, in moderate forms there is additional accumulation of ascites with mild abdominal distension, while in severe forms of OHSS there may be hemoconcentration, thrombosis, abdominal pain and distension, oliguria (decreased urine production), pleural effusion, and respiratory distress. Early OHSS develops before pregnancy testing, and late OHSS is seen in early pregnancy.

6/27/2009
I had been drinking the Gatorade, which was pretty tough b/c I think Gatorade is disgusting. Every flavor. Urine output got down to about 50mL/hour, but started to rise again. I went to a July for Kings concert at the Madison Theater in Covington, KY. One of my and L's friends proposed to his gf on stage. It was really sweet and I was impressed; it took a lot of time and effort to pull it off. Of course she said yes, so congrats to the two of them. I was still really bloated, and I wore a shirt that accentuated my "bump." I had been walking around like I was pregnant for a week - people were holding doors for me, etc. It was really nice, even though I was being a big faker. I do have to say that standing on my feet for 4 hours at that concert was a mistake. I was very uncomfortable afterwards.

"It doesn't get much better than this."

That is what my RE told me at my ET yesterday. We transferred 2 8-cell embryos - 1 was grade 1 (perfect) and the other was grade 2 (almost perfect). The actual transfer went smoothly. MH was there with me, and our nurse, Mandy, was great. She gave me a "fertility bracelet" to wear, and put some stuffed rabbits next to the chair. Her explanation for the rabbits was, well, they are pretty fertile animals. :) I'll take all of the luck I can get. I stayed lying down for another 30 minutes after the transfer, and then was on bedrest for the rest of the day. I'll be honest, I did get up a couple of times...and I slept on my stomach. I don't know if that is against the rules or not, but I just cannot sleep on my back. I can foresee that being a problem if this IVF was successful.

Today, I slept in and tried to stay in bed for as long as possible, but MH and I are remodeling our house (little by little). Right now, we are working on the master bedroom. The next steps are to paint and lay carpet. We looked at Lowe's previously; they weren't too bad. Today we went to a warehouse-type place. God, no. Sure it was cheap, but it looked it. Finally, I suggested Buddy's Carpet because I had heard from one of our neighbors that they got a really good deal from there. It just so happened there was a Buddy's right next door to the warehouse so we decided to stop in. Good news! We found a multi-tonal frieze for $1 cheaper per square foot than Lowe's. I think it is going to look really nice, and I'm glad I didn't settle for something else that was in our "price range."

On another note, we took our dogs with us to go to the store. This is a pretty normal practice as they are very spoiled. While we were in Buddy's - let me point out that we were in there a total 0f 20 minutes - some woman comes storming in. She says, "Are those your dogs out there in the car?" Oh, you mean the dogs in the car parked in the shade with a bowl of water and the windows rolled down? But I only told her, yes, they were my dogs. Then she goes, "Um, you know it's, it's really hot out today." Then just stands there. Is it hot? Gee, I hadn't noticed. Thank God you came in here and butted your big nose into our business. Anyway, then she storms back out and stands there staring into our vehicle and then glaring into the store at us. She did that for about 10 minutes, and finally gave up. I hate people; those dogs live better than she does.

They are fine, by the way, if you were concerned.

ER

My ER was Thursday. Last cycle, they did not give me enough meds during the procedure, and I felt every follicle being sucked out of my enlarged ovaries. I made sure to tell them that this time, and they made sure that didn't happen again. Cycle 1, I was up and out of there in 30 minutes or less. This time, it took me forever to even wake up. When I finally did, I felt nauseous and faint. I went home and slept all day. Pain in my ovaries is what finally woke me up. My stomach was super-bloated and really painful. I took my temp and it was only 98.8, but I was still worried about the possibility of OHSS, so I paged the RE on call. She asked if I had a temp or was having trouble breathing, and since I didn't, she basically told me to suck it up.

Friday I went back to work, which was awful. I used the old rubber band trick to keep from having to button my jeans. Luckily, I am open with my boss about my IVF. I told her the situation and she let me go home early. I got my fert report, too. Of the 25 eggs retrieved, 20 were mature. They ICSI'd all 20, 10 fertilized, 1 abnormally. So we had 9 embryos and my RE froze 3. At this point, we have 6 that are hopefully growing like rockstars. I asked the nurse who called with my report about a 5dt, and I guess she mentioned something to the RE because he called me later. He basically said he isn't a big fan of 5dt, or of freezing at blast stage - I agreed to go with the 3dt. Honestly, tons of people get PG with 3dt's every year, and my 3dt is on Father's Day; maybe that's a good sign.

Saturday night I went to a friend's wedding. It was a great time and everything was beautiful. The only thing that sucked was the DJ. He even mispronounced the bride and groom's last name when he introduced them. Um, their name is kind of an important detail; maybe you should have taken a second to double-check how to say it? Anyway, not my wedding, but there is no excuse for that. And actually I lied, the other thing that sucked is that I couldn't drink. Everyone else was drinking. I mean, literally everyone. I think I even saw a couple of 14-year-olds sneaking beer in the corner. Maybe I was just imagining that part, but maybe not. You don't know where I grew up. Hopefully, in 2 weeks, I'll find out that these sober times have been more than worth it.

My ET is tomorrow at 8:15 a.m. EST. Say a prayer for me.

Bloat

I guess the IVF bloat has come early. All day at work I have had my pants unbuttoned. I can't use the rubber band trick b/c they aren't normal pants, they are tab-waisted dress pants. But I have a long shirt on, and I don't think anyone has noticed. If they have, they haven't said anything to me, in which case I really don't care.

My RE had me do my last stim shot last night. The nurse actually told me to do 87.5iu. Newsflash, lady, that is not a real dose. I didn't do my shot until around 11, so I had to make a judgment call - 75iu or 112.5iu? I decided I'd rather have too much medicine than too little, so I went with 112.5. Hopefully I didn't ruin everything.

Now, tonight I do my Ovidrel shot, along with my last Cetrotide. I was originally supposed to do 2 hCG shots. Apparently I am now only doing 1 because my last b/w came back with an e2 of 3376. Last cycle, my e2 at my last blood draw was 2000. I am taking this super-high e2 as a good sign of things to come at my ER; or it might be a sign of impending OHSS. ::fingers crossed:: for a good sign.

ER. Thursday morning. 9 a.m. My mommy is picking me up and getting me chicken nuggets afterwards. I heart her. L offered to wait and take me home, but I told him to forget it because, honestly, who takes better care of you than your mom?

We rollin'

I've had a relatively busy weekend, actually. I took Friday off of work so that L and I could take our nephew out for his birthday. We let him pick what he wanted to do, and he chose to go to the Newport Aquarium. It takes most people a couple of hours to get through, but a 4-year old boy can get through it in like 40 minutes. True story. After the aquarium, we went to Dewey's Pizza and then to the park at Sawyer Point. When we finally gave him back to his parents, we were both exhausted. I seriously went home and took a nap for at least an hour (maybe 2).

After I woke up, we went down to the river to Italianfest. L got an Italian sausage sandwich and I got chicken alfredo; both were delicious. L also got a cannoli which was sub-par. But the highlight of the night was definitely the tortilla-wrapped cheesecake from Pompilios. oh.my.god. It was heavenly. Of course, what I was really looking forward to was a meatball hoagy and the ever-elusive funnel cake. I got neither, but the cheesecake made up for it.

Yesterday I went to my nephew's actual birthday party, and then to a friend's wedding in Oxford, OH. I don't know what it is with Miami University grads, but they loooove Miami - hence why my friend had her wedding reception at Miami. But I digress. It was a lovely wedding and she looked really beautiful. It was also nice to see a bunch of old high school friends who I hadn't seen in awhile. You know how, when you see old friends, you always promise to keep in touch and to get together soon but it never happens? That makes me sad. I wish it did happen a little more often.

Speaking of seeing friends more often, we stopped by BW-3 after the wedding to watch the UFC fight. I got to see my old friend Tony, who I adore and don't see nearly enough of. Plus, Rich Franklin (who is from Cincinnati, by the way) won his fight. Yay! I love to see hometown boys do well.

This morning I had yet another RE appointment. I felt guilty for having to come in on a Sunday, but they scheduled me; nothing I could really do about it. My e2 this morning was 2786. I have no clue how many follies I had, but I do know that they were bigger today than Friday. They lowered my stims again today to 112.5, and I have another appointment tomorrow morning at 9. They told me this morning before they got my b/w back that my ER would be Thursday. However, also this morning, they set me up to come back on Tuesday. I am taking the earlier appointment to mean that I'll likely be going on Wednesday. Who knows? It doesn't make a difference, really. I'll keep you updated.

I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat. :)

Going up

Short post today b/c I'm tired right now. My e2 this morning was 1226 and I had 28 measurable follies. Yes, you read that correctly - 28. Shocking, to everyone but me apparently. I just told the nurse yesterday that I was about to explode; my ovaries did explode literally overnight. I went from 5 measurable follies at my last appointment to 28 today.

Now, your initial reaction may be, "Yay, 28! That's awesome!" However, you must be aware that more than 30 eggs retrieved means that the quality of each begins to reduce. Everyone knows quality is more important than quantity. I really love all of the REs at my office, but I really wish that they listened to me more. I mean, who knows my body better than I do?

Tonight, they reduced my stims to 225, and tomorrow it will go down again to 187.5. I go in for another u/s and b/w on Sunday. I will update then, but at this point I anticipate my ER will be Tuesday or Wednesday.

418 and 200

418 is what my e2 was this morning. I think I had 4 or 5 measurable follicles; the biggest being 13.5mm. They are keeping me at the same dose of Gonal-f (262.5iu) and I also did the Cetrotide injection tonight. Cetrotide is the "antagonist" in my antagonist IVF cycle - it keeps me from ovulating so that my follicles can keep growing until they are retrieved at my ER.

200 is the least number of dollars that it is going to cost me to buy another Gonal-f pen. My ovaries are evidently demanding a superhuman dose of medicine in order to do their job, so God knows how many more days I am going to have to stim before ER.

On the up side, this cycle is still a go. In fact, my RE today said they are pleased with how it is progressing so far. Did you hear that? Pleased. That's good enough for me.

Just (below) average

I'm really not used to being average. I mean, I was salutatorian of my class in high school, was awarded a full scholarship to undergrad (which I eventually lost as a result of my torrid love affair with many varieties of alcohol). I was pretty good at quite a few sports. I had a pretty nice body - I wish I would have been happier with it back then. The last couple of years are really helping "bring me down to Earth."

Let's see:

1. I've put on about 50 pounds (no lie) - Nothing else to say about this really. I don't like exercise but I love food. Not a real shocker that I've gotten fat and am staying that way.
2. Everyone around me is getting PG but me - I'm currently on my 2nd IVF cycle. As I mentioned the other day, my e2 levels mysteriously dropped after they raised my dosage of stims for 2 days. How odd. So they raised them even more, and I can now report that my e2 has risen to 177 from 95. Still not as high of a number as I was expecting. Thinking back on my last cycle, they didn't test my e2 nearly as often; it very well could have done the same thing then. In fact, at day 6 last cycle my e2 was 66, and this time it was 95. So maybe all is not lost. I go back tomorrow - I'll update you then.
3. I'm in law school with people who are waaay more accomplished and / or smarter than me - Serio. People in my class have their PhDs, multiple Masters degrees, and have traveled the world. I graduated undergrad, then took a couple of years off to...what? Fu.ck around? That's pretty much what I did. Needless to say, I am not ranked in the top 10 of my class; hell, I'm not even in the top half. I got my grades back for the spring semester. B-, C+, C. Eh. At this point, as long as my GPA is high enough that they can't kick me out of school, I'm golden. Am I right, people? School's hard.

Just livin' the dream.

Weekend Update

I meant to update this on Sunday - obviously I never got around to it.  I did go see "The Hangover" on Friday, and it did not disappoint.  In fact, it was hi-frickin-larious.  I may even go see it a second time; this time with L.  Speaking of movies, we rented "He's Just Not That Into You" on Saturday, and it was also pretty good.  Not nearly as good as "The Hangover," but still good.

Also on Saturday, I had my first RE appointment since starting stims.  No growth at that point, which wasn't surprising.  My e2 was 107, which I thought was pretty good, but apparently my RE was not so impressed.  She raised my dosage from 150iu to 187.5iu on Saturday, and then to 225iu on Sunday.  There goes that first 900iu pen.

So today, I go in for my 2nd monitoring appointment.  I was pretty stoked because I had 2 follies at 10mm after only 5 days of stims!  Last cycle I only had 1 measurable follie after 7 days of stims.  Of course, nothing can ever be easy.  I get a phone call from my RE today that my e2 actually went down to 95.  Um, excuse me?  It went down?  After I increased my meds?  Of course, immediately, I think that this is a sign that my cycle is going to be cancelled.  And it very well may be.  But I am going to try and stay positive.  The nurse said sometimes this just happens; but I have a hard time believing that.  

Anyway, tonight my dose was 262.5, and I go back in tomorrow at 8:15 a.m. strictly for a blood draw.  Hopefully my e2 skyrockets overnight.  I don't understand how we are doing the same amount of meds this cycle and my body is reacting totally differently.  Damn body.  Can't you ever cooperate?  Can't you do anything right?

::sigh::

"Nobody said it was easy; No one ever said it would be this hard..."

I went to the Coldplay concert last night with L and my brother. We ended up meeting my uncle and his wife there also, which was nice since I don't see them very often. It was a really good concert - of course I may be biased because I love live music in general, especially when it's playing outside in the summer. Anyway, Pete Yorn and Howling Bells opened for them, and they were really good, also. Coldplay ended up giving everyone in the audience a free CD. It is called "Left, Right, Left, Right, Left" and is some type of live version of some of their songs. And free is always good.

The one negative of the night was that I was supposed to do my stim shot at 9:45 pm; obviously I didn't leave the concert until around 11, so I wasn't able to do it until way late. I just hope that doesn't mess this cycle up somehow.

Tonight I am going to see "The Hangover" with my friend, S. It looks really funny - I love Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms, so I am pretty excited about this movie. I will let you know what I think later; a little "review", if you will. I don't go out to see movies very often, and now I will have seen 2 in a week! I guess not being able to drink really limits your options on things to do, at least when you are in your 20s.

Regardless, I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Here we go

I had my first monitoring appointment of IVF cycle #2. Today was my baseline; they drew blood to check my e2 level and did an u/s. I actually found the vein for the IVF nurse, which wasn't hard because I only have like 2 good veins in my entire body. But, she got it right the first time, which was nice. I also asked them to check my FSH level, purely to satisfy my own curiosity - I'm sure it is fine.

As for the u/s, my lining was thinned out (2.7mm) and I had 87 antral follicles. Antral follies are potential eggs. I have 87 potential eggs. 41 on one ovary and 46 on the other. PCOS is actually paying off, for once.

So my RE should be calling me this afternoon with my b/w results and to tell me the dosage for my first couple days of stims.

Dear God, let this month go by quickly and please let this be our BFP cycle!

Amen.

ETA - My RE called. My e2 was < 30 and my FSH was 6. So good and good. Yay! And I am to start stims tonight at 150iu of Gonal-f.

Wow

Father Time is teaching my Criminal Procedure class.

This is real life.

Now I have to read for tomorrow's Crimes Against Justice class. This 4 nights a week thing is going to be the death of me.

Deep Thoughts

In honor of no more beer for the next month or 2 (or 9), here is one of my favorite Jack Handey quotes:

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I've drank I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.'”

You can't argue with logic like that.

Sunday school

Jeremiah 29:11-12 (NIV) -
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

They lied to us in health class

This is how babies are really made.

My IVF meds arrived yesterday, and I had my trial transfer this morning.

Holy shit. Here we go again.

Back to school

Okay, so tomorrow is my last free day before I start back to school. I think L and I are going to go see the movie "Up." I know, I know. It's a kid's movie. We are hoping to take our nephew, but honestly even if he can't come we are going to see it anyway. I am pretty excited, because it has gotten really good reviews so far. Plus, honestly, there aren't really any Pixar movies that I've seen that I haven't liked.

The rest of the day will be spent reading cases. I have about 10 or so to read for my class called "Crimes Against Justice." It will cover things like jury tampering, bribery, evidence tampering, etc. It actually sounds a lot more exciting than Property or Constitutional Law (which is what I had last semester). Speaking of those, still no grades posted yet. I cannot comprehend why it takes over a month to grade exams. Think good thoughts for me though - I am hoping for a big curve to save me. ::fingers crossed::

Finally, we tried out a new dog park today. It is in Fort Thomas, which is much closer to our house than the one we usually go to, and a big part of it is on a hill going down into the woods. Hill = tired pups = happy mom. They seemed to really enjoy it, so I can see us going back there again.

Blah.

Nothing really going on lately, but I feel like a bad person letting so many

Happy Memorial Day!

I think it is important to take a minute today to remember all of the men and women who have fought for our country over the years, and all of those who are still fighting. My great-uncle actually was awarded a Congressional Medal of Honor in WWII. I saw him a few weeks ago at his 81st birthday party, and he was actually wearing it. He is truly an amazing man, and the stories he tells are awe-inspiring. I could never do anything like that, but I am grateful there are people out there who can.

Because I work for a bank, I am off of work today. I have so much I could get done, and I have done nothing so far. Yesterday morning, I washed my car and then cleaned the house. While I was cleaning the house, I let my 2 dogs out in the front yard to play. Awhile later, L comes home and calls me outside. My left side of my car (the one facing the yard) is covered in dirt. Cash (the brindle boxer) decided that he would like to dig a hole to China via our front yard. How he got dirt onto the roof of my car I have no idea.

Also, I just found out the other day that my dad is engaged. C will be his 3rd wife - there was my mom, then J (wicked stepmother), now C. Obviously my mom and dad are divorced. J died of ovarian cancer. She hadn't been to the gyno in over 6 years, so get to your yearly check-ups, ladies! Anyway, I really like C, so I am pretty happy about this news. Congrats, Dad!

The only other thing I have planned for today is to go to my mom's for a Memorial Day grill-out. That means good food, cornhole, and maybe a beer (or 2) before I start stims in 2 weeks. It is supposed to start at 2 this afternoon, of course L is making a big deal out of it being so early in the day. He always finds something to complain about when it is something he doesn't want to do. Are all men like that? Or am I lucky enough to have found the only one? Geez.

Chance encounter and a "real" Philly cheesesteak

As you know, yesterday was my 3rd wedding anniversary. I ended up taking the pups to the dog park in the morning while L was working on the windows (which are done by the way and look fantastic). When we got to the dog park around 10 a.m., there were only like 5 other dogs there - four of which left shortly after, leaving only me, the pups, another girl and her dog.

The girl, I'll call her E, was around my age. And if you've ever been to the dog park, when it's just you and another person, you're kind of obligated to talk to each other. So we both sat down at the picnic table and started talking; about our dogs at first. She mentioned that my dog, Cash, listened really well, and I assured her that his obedience was not normal. Then she told me that she has been trying to train her dog not to jump because she is expecting her first child in about 6 months. Now when I first saw her, I didn't notice that she was sporting a barely-there bump, but sure enough, there it was. Anyone who has gone through IF knows all too well what happened next, the sad feeling that washes over you, followed quickly by jealousy and then guilt. I don't know why - maybe she recognized the look on my face - she quickly said, "Well, we had to do IVF." What are the odds?

Immediately, I told that I was just about to start my 2nd cycle. Lo and behold, she tried for 3 years. TI with Clomid, IUI with Clomid, then injectibles. Finally, she got pregnant on her first try with IVF. And what made it even better was that she went to the exact same clinic and saw my RE, Dr. T! I told her about our MFI, and she told me about how she produced 11 eggs and only 2 fertilized normally. Of those 2, 1 took. I love to hear those types of stories - they give me hope. Her advice to me was to do positive affirmation every day of this cycle. Apparently, she, like me, is a pretty negative person. Before her IVF she read the book "The Secret" and thought it was complete crap. But everyday when she went to give herself a shot she said, "This is me. This is my time to get pregnant. This is my time to become a mom." Of course, who can say that is what did the trick, but it's worth a try.

Later in the day, we went to the Taste of Cincinnati. It was really hot, especially since I was wearing jeans (none of my old shorts or capris fit - thanks IF!). First thing we shared a pretzel with bier cheese from Courtyard Cafe. It won "Best Addiction" from the Taste judges - I have to disagree with that pick. The pretzel was good, but the cheese had a mustard-y tang to it which left a bad aftertaste. Ok, moving on. Next, I tried a pulled pork sandwich from City Barbecue, and it was very good. Juicy with a lot of meat; the sauce was just sweet enough. And then, we saved the best for last. L decided that he wanted a Philly cheesesteak from Balboa's. While we were waiting in line, he noticed that the sign said "with Cheez-Whiz or provolone," and he said, "Cheez-Whiz, that sounds disgusting." I informed him that, thanks to my extensive viewing of the Food Network, in Philly that is how all cheesesteaks are made. So he decided to try it, and he fell in love. He pronounced it "the best thing that he had ever eaten." It's so hard being right all the time. ;) The biggest disappointment? No funnel cakes. Not one in the whole place. So sad.

We went home after that - we could have gone to a bar or to see a movie or to watch the UFC fight. Of all those options, I wanted to see the UFC fight the most. But, alas, we must be getting old. We just stayed home and watched "Cars." Yes, the cartoon. I love that movie. And I love L. It was a good day.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my and L's 3-year wedding anniversary. I can't believe we've made it this far. Let's just say it hasn't been easy, but I guess nothing worthwhile ever really comes easy. Even though he is a total a.ss sometimes - I really do love the hubs. Not sure what we are going to do to celebrate; probably not much since we are about to start this next IVF ::whispers:: and we're still paying off the first one.

I really would like to go to the Taste of Cincinnati today. I really want a pulled pork sandwich and a funnel cake. Don't be jealous of my sophisticated palette. But, as I write this, my husband is installing 2 new windows in our upstairs bedroom and nursery. Yes, I call it the nursery already, so sue me. We'll see how today plays out.

3.25-day weekend

Since I work at a bank, we get Monday off for Memorial Day. That being said, I was pretty much worthless all morning. It is 80 degrees here, and all I kept thinking was how awesome it was that I had 3 days off from work. Finally, at 2:30, my boss comes over and says, "You can leave in 30 minutes." Fu.ck yes. I immediately packed everything up and spent the next 3o staring at the clock and hanging out on thebump.com. Can I just say that I heart thebump? I recently found a new message board to post on, TTC 12+, and I have a big ol' lesbian crush on every one of those girls. So, 606ers, ( o )( o ). Awesome.

So I came home, made dinner, and now I'm going to for a beer or five with some friends - trying to get as much drinking in as possible before I start stims for the next IVF. Speaking of IVF, Dr. T, the same one who couldn't find time over the course of 3 weeks to come up with the blue plan for my next IVF, personally called me this afternoon to make sure I got all the details and to ask if I had any questions. Nope, but I sure appreciate this extra special attention. ::rolls eyes::

On a disappointing note, I missed my personal training session today. I have been really good about going for the last 5 weeks (at 7:30 a.m. no less) and finally today it happened. I overslept. Not really all that shocking if you know me - b/c you know I love to sleep - but I still felt bad for standing up my trainer. As much as I hate her every Tuesday and Thursday, I have to admit that she is a pretty cool chick. So sorry, April, if you ever read this.

Fast forward

The original plan after our IVF BFN in March was to wait until late July or August to try our 2nd round of IVF. The idea being that I was going to lose a few pounds first. While I did start working out, I haven't actually lost any weight.

Anyway, I have been trying to call my RE, Dr. T, for about 3 weeks now - I'd say a total of about 12 or 13 times. No callback. Talk about fu.cking frustrating. I was all ready to switch RE's when the nurse finally called me back today. I was told that we were going to change my protocol for this IVF to the mid-luteal lupron protocol. I said, "Okay," and was all set to start BCPs in June.

10 minutes later, Dr. T's nurse calls back and informs me that we are going to stay with the antagonist protocol, that I am to start Provera on Monday with an expected transfer at the end of June. Wha? A little sooner than I had originally planned, but who am I kidding. I'm not going to lose weight, and I want to be pregnant noooow. ::stomps foot::

And there it is. I am starting my 2nd IVF next month. Aaaahh! Wish me luck.

Hi.

I guess I should introduce myself. I'm starting this blog in an attempt to stay sane through this hell that is infertility while going to school and working full-time. I am 27 years old and so is my husband, L. We live in Newport, Kentucky and are currently in the process of rehabbing our house which was built in the 1800s. We live there with our 2 boxer dogs, Penny and Cash; they are like my children, and if they are any indication, my actual children (whenever they get here), are going to be very spoiled.

I also just finished my 2nd year of law school. As long as I passed all of my classes then I am halfway to becoming an attorney. Hopefully I get a really good job when I graduate - I have to find some way to pay off my mountain of student loans.

PSA - I am very sarcastic, and often pessimistic, so if you can't appreciate that you probably won't like this blog. If you can, welcome and I hope you keep coming back.